|Fulham Deaf Veterans finished fourth out of ten in the Swiss System tournament (usually reserved for chess!) with Surbition ‘A’ winning the tournament. Congratulations to Surbition ‘A’.
It was a respectable result considering we:
1. did not have a keeper
2. over half of us were unfit
3. three of us left early reducing us to the bare minimum
Instead of match reports for fulhamdfc.com, awards were given to each player for their outstanding individual performance in a Fulham Deaf Veterans’ shirt on the day!
Best Fulham Deaf Veteran player:
Chris Gwynn for shaming the rest of the squad by not only being the best player but at the grand old age of 52!
Best Fulham Deaf Veteran goal scored:
Nick Melvin who dribbled past four players then unleashed a screamer starting from thirty-five yards back!
Best Fulham Deaf Veteran goal assist:
Christof Niklaus who was about to score after a ‘Ronaldo-like’ dribble past three defenders but Mark swept in and stole the glory!
Best Fulham Deaf Veteran throw-in:
Alistair Wright’s overhead throw-in as keeper after lecturing us at the beginning of the tournament that the keeper must always do an underarm throw in as stipulated by the rules. A penalty was given and Luton went on to win the game!
Best Fulham Deaf Veteran haircut:
Jonathan Reid, being the only one not bald or grey. A forensic examination shall be carried out to examine if hair dye was used!
Best Fulham Deaf Veteran bouncer:
Chris Ratcliffe used his physique to his advantage and justify for walking around instead of running for the ball!
Best Fulham Deaf Veteran smoker:
Ayad Sarraf, as the only smoker in the team, did an impression of Winston Churchill between games!
Best Fulham Deaf Veteran leg biter:
Gethin Thomas who made hard tackles that resulted in two opponents hobbling off the pitch to be replaced within minutes of each other in a match!
Best Fulham Deaf Veteran impression of Terry Butcher:
Andy Rees feebly tried to do a ‘Terry Butcher’ but could only graze his right knee.
Best Fulham Deaf Veteran hypocritical player:
Mark Fox who told people to get off the pitch if they were not running yet was seen with hands on knees pose catching his breath back with his back turned, ignoring the frantically waving-to-get-his-attention keen subs behind the gate!